If you have experienced pregnancy loss, please be aware that this blog post may be a trigger for you. It shares the story of pregnancy loss and rainbow babies.
Today is April Fool’s Day, which for many people means that we have a little fun being goofy with our friends and family. I still remember when I was in 4th Grade I came up with the genius idea to rub pencil lead all over one of my eyes before I walked home from school to “trick” my mom into thinking that I’d gotten into a fight and received a subsequent black eye. #genius I’m sure it was SUPER convincing. Lol.
But April Fool’s Day can prove to be painful to many. It is pretty common these days for people to post fake pregnancy announcements on their social media, only to come out a few hours later or the next day to say it was a joke. The only problem is that this isn’t really funny. Especially not to those who have experienced infant or pregnancy loss. It’s because of this that I wanted to post a very special blog today – my dear friend Mireya’s journey to motherhood.
Mireya and I met 10 (TEN!) years ago in a Spanish class at our college, the University of Central Oklahoma. We were so young then, and we hit it off immediately. We somehow were able to be partners on multiple projects for several classes in a row, and I am so thankful to have met her. Back when we were freshly in our 20s, I was far from thinking about marriage, but Mireya was already married… and had been for a few years! She met her husband Fili when she was TWELVE on a vacation to visit family in Mexico. She had all the heart eyes for him immediately and he was her big-time crush for years after. They didn’t see each other for five years, but they eventually ended up getting married two weeks after Mireya graduated high school. The definition of young love!
Mireya and Fili knew they wanted to start a family. They had their first pregnancy back in 2011. Mireya didn’t even know that she was pregnant until she miscarried. They tried to get pregnant for quite a while after that loss, but with no success. After years of trying, Mireya and Fili decided to begin fertility treatments in 2014. Mireya found out she was pregnant in February 2015, and actually asked me if I could shoot pictures of her as she surprised Fili with the news in Downtown Oklahoma City. It was so exciting, and I couldn’t believe she had asked me! I was so happy for them!
At the time, Fili was working out of state, so Mireya promised to FaceTime him when she went to the doctor to hear the heartbeat. But instead of hearing a heartbeat, Mireya was told that there was no heartbeat. The doctor told her that she had a blighted ovum, and Mireya’s heart broke into a million pieces. She was paralyzed, broken, and confused. She couldn’t understand how there was no heart beat and an empty sac. She had tested positive for pregnancy with a doctor’s confirmation before. Mireya and Fili took some time following that loss for her to recover – physically and emotionally.
Months later, with mixed emotions, they decided it was time to try again. They started fertility treatments again in June 2015. One month later while they were on vacation in Mexico, Mireya found out she was pregnant again. That rainbow baby is the sweet heartbreaker you see in the pictures below. His name is Mateo, which means “gift from God.” He is now almost 3 years old!
Mireya and Fili hoped to give Mateo a sibling, so in late January 2018, Mireya started fertility treatments again. She got pregnant on the first round, but on March 28, 2018 Mireya became very sick. She found out that she had a tubal, or ectopic, pregnancy. The baby was in her ovary and she had to have emergency surgery – she was already bleeding internally and it could have been fatal. However, even after that loss, Mireya says that God has never let her go and has been by her side through it all. They tried again and are now due any day with their second rainbow baby! This little boy is already so loved and cherished.
It means so much to me that Mireya allowed me to share her family’s story here. There are countless other details from the in-between waiting times of their journey, but they feel so blessed to be a soon-to-be family of four. Mireya, I love you. Thank you for trusting me and sharing your story!
If you have a loved one who is living with infertility, there are ways for you to support them! Check out Resolve.org for resources on what you can do for them.